I don't know how to feel right now.
I'm pregnant. At least I think I'm still pregnant.
But I can't really enjoy it because I don't know if it's going to last. Is that not being hopeful? I feel bad. I don't know what do, think or feel. I want to go back to looking at the baby sites and learning about what my baby is doing right now. I want to look at more nursery ideas and baby names. I'm so scared. I really truly believed this was going to happen....right now, I don't know. I'm not thinking it's not going to happen, just....don't know what's going to happen. I really hope it works out and my beta ends up being higher. I keep playing different scenarios out in my head of how each outcome may play out.
I think I've read every success story there is. I've begged and pleaded to be one of them.
I'm so thankful for the 3 or 4 days I was able to be a mommy. Such a gift to have and I was lucky to experience it for a while. I enjoyed every minute from the time I found out until the last 24 hours. No one can take that away from me.
