Thursday, May 21, 2009

Lost it at the Lab

I was afraid it was going to happen. Once I saw that the same ladies where there I knew they were going to remember what I was there for. The one asked how things were going and winked, I told her they weren't going well and she said she was sorry. It was pretty awkward. Then when the other tech. was typing out my info, she argued with me about what my lab sheet said. She's the one who got it wrong on tuesday. She got really defensive about the whole thing. I started crying. It was so embarrassing.
We went back to the room to draw the blood and she apologized when she was done and gave me a hug. That's when I started to cry harder. Sobbing. It was horrible. Very embarrassing. I sobbed all the way to the car and all the way home. Then lost it again when I got into the house.

This isn't fair. How dare God give me this amazing gift only to take it right back? I'm so mad!

I know it sounds like I'm giving up. I don't see it as giving up, I'm just being realistic. All my symptoms are gone, the pee sticks are getting lighter. E is so optimistic that it will work out. I can't bring myself to tell him I know longer 'feel' pregnant.