10

That's my beta.

Waiting to miscarry or whatever it is that is happening to me.

So sad. :(

Weird Day

I've been in a funk all day. Partly from the hormones and I'm sure some of it is because of what is going on. I told my mom about what is going on. She's got her fingers crossed that it works out. Sometimes I think I'm okay, sometimes I wonder if it's over. I'm afraid to think that it may be over because I feel like I that means I'm giving up. I'm not giving up, just wondering. Right now, my back aches and my boobs are really sore. Yesterday, I felt a lot like I did last Sunday. I've read so many success stories, I'm still praying that I'm one of them.

Up To 50

The nurse called back. She said the lab never sent the results and still hadn't by the time she had called me. She got a verbal number from them. So, I still have to take my meds and have to go back to get another test on Tuesday. Ugh. This is so hard. :(

She said they would have like to see it double but were happy to see it go up. She said the pg was viable at 50.

It's hard to not know what's going on in there. I'm not doing any more hpts. I'm going to try to enjoy the long weekend pg.

Stuck

I don't know how to feel right now.
I'm pregnant. At least I think I'm still pregnant.
But I can't really enjoy it because I don't know if it's going to last. Is that not being hopeful? I feel bad. I don't know what do, think or feel. I want to go back to looking at the baby sites and learning about what my baby is doing right now. I want to look at more nursery ideas and baby names. I'm so scared. I really truly believed this was going to happen....right now, I don't know. I'm not thinking it's not going to happen, just....don't know what's going to happen. I really hope it works out and my beta ends up being higher. I keep playing different scenarios out in my head of how each outcome may play out.
I think I've read every success story there is. I've begged and pleaded to be one of them.
I'm so thankful for the 3 or 4 days I was able to be a mommy. Such a gift to have and I was lucky to experience it for a while. I enjoyed every minute from the time I found out until the last 24 hours. No one can take that away from me.

Still No Word

It's so nice to know what the hell is going on. I can't believe I'm going to have to wait until tomorrow. I bet the stupid bitch ran it the wrong way again.

I hate being in limbo. CALL ME DAMNIT!!

Lost it at the Lab

I was afraid it was going to happen. Once I saw that the same ladies where there I knew they were going to remember what I was there for. The one asked how things were going and winked, I told her they weren't going well and she said she was sorry. It was pretty awkward. Then when the other tech. was typing out my info, she argued with me about what my lab sheet said. She's the one who got it wrong on tuesday. She got really defensive about the whole thing. I started crying. It was so embarrassing.
We went back to the room to draw the blood and she apologized when she was done and gave me a hug. That's when I started to cry harder. Sobbing. It was horrible. Very embarrassing. I sobbed all the way to the car and all the way home. Then lost it again when I got into the house.

This isn't fair. How dare God give me this amazing gift only to take it right back? I'm so mad!

I know it sounds like I'm giving up. I don't see it as giving up, I'm just being realistic. All my symptoms are gone, the pee sticks are getting lighter. E is so optimistic that it will work out. I can't bring myself to tell him I know longer 'feel' pregnant.

Low Positive

I have a low positive beta of 33. I'm so sad. :( We need it to double for tomorrow and we'll go from there. I've been googling low betas and it says not to make too much of the number. You can have a low beta and go on to have a normal pregnancy. I'm trying my best to be optimistic about things but it's hard.

I bought some more hpts to see if the line is getting darker. I took one when I got home from work. I hadn't used the bathroom since 1:30 and it was pretty diluted with water. It seems like the line is darker than yesterday. I don't know.

Stupid Lab!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH! So the nurse just called and said the lab ran the wrong thing (qualitative when it was supposed to be quantitative)! OH MY GOD! I'm so annoyed. So now they have to run the blood again. The nurse will call me as soon as she gets it. SO FRUSTRATING!

They Still Haven't Called

And I know they got the message because I called right at 8am. This isn't even right. Not only did they not call me yesterday, they aren't calling me back today. Come ON!

I don't know what else to do to waste time. I fell asleep for like 2 hours. Don't feel like doing much of anything right now. Not much left too look at on the internet.

This is terrifying.

My Stomach is in Knots!

Just called and left a message for the nurse. Oh man. I hope they call me back soon. And I hope it's with good news. This really sucks.

Ugh!

They never called with my beta. Better believe I'm gonna call them and let them know how annoyed I am. Thanks a lot. This happened last time. I went to get my beta really early in the morning, sat around, sat around feeling it was most likely negative even though the hpt said 'pregnant'. I just didn't feel it. Anyway, I had to call them and tell them I still hadn't gotten my beta and I was wondering what was going on. When the nurse called back, she apologized and said she would call me right back. Something with the lab not sending it over right away or something. It ended up being negative. I can still here her words, "I'm so sorry Kim. It's negative", then she told me to stop taking all meds. It was horrible. I'm so afraid of hearing, "I'm so sorry, Kim" again. I know most likely I'm okay, it's still scary.

This bfp stuff is scary business. I feel like everything I do is going to jinx it. It's still so early ya know? I downloaded the First Trimester cd from Anji. I only got the one, didn't want to get ahead of myself. At least it will help me relax a bit.
I still feel great and amazed that this is happening. It's really a miracle.

I seem to have a nap time. :) I keep getting REALLY tired around 6/7 pm and sleep for an hour. My boobs hurt SO bad. I had some cramping again earlier. It comes and goes. Still unbelievable thirsty.

Beta Day - 12p3dt

Feeling great today! Wish they would call already with the beta number. It sucks to have to wait around for it.

Took another htp this morning. Line is darker than yesterday and Sunday. Had a bad headache yesterday and was very irritable, that's all gone today. Oh god, the gas. Oh man. Sunday and yesterday the gas was horrible! Not much going on today in that department.
In a really good mood, feel good. Still bloated and boobs are sore on the sides and my nipples are very sensitive. Still thirsty. Woke up at 5:30 am to pee and was starving again. Had to eat breakfast soon after, as well as pee again.

I wonder if part of my problem was the anticipation of today? I don't know. There's nothing I can do but hope for the best. I'm enjoying being pregnant and I will enjoy it until told otherwise.

Please let my beta be a great number and let this pregnancy result in a live baby.

11dp3dt

So, some of the symptoms have gone away. I've already googled it and I guess it's normal. I am more nauseous and tired today. I feel like my allergies are really bad today. I can't tell if it's a pg symptom or what. The allergy count is lower than it has been and this is the most my allergies have bothered me in two weeks. I've been taking my Alavert everyday, but not the flonase. Well, I did use my flonase on friday or sat. Whichever day I had the breakdown and was convinced this wasn't going to happen. I was even going to make coffee and drink a coke. I was fierce! :)

I also have a slight headache and I'm in a really bad, easily annoyed mood. Oh, and the smell of the fabric softener on my blanket is driving me nuts. It's all I can smell and it's like it's wrapped in dryer sheets.

Now that the shock and excitement of yesterday has worn off, worry has set in. I'm so worried that my beta will be below 50 tomorrow and it won't double by thursday. God, please don't take this away from us. I know I've been asking for a lot lately with this cycle, but please, please make this happen.

*Okay, I just googled seasonal allergies worse in early pregnancy and it seems that they do get worse.

Today Was Awesome

I told/showed E the pee stick. He looked at it and said, "not pregnant". I then had to explain to him what the two lines meant and that it was okay that the one was lighter than the other. He really didn't believe me. I had to convince him it was real. He was so afraid to believe me because of what happened with our first IVF. I had to bring him upstairs and show him all of my other pee sticks that I've been stashing for the past 4 days. He's so happy and excited. Both of us are.

We went to his parents for dinner today. Hard not to say anything. It's all I could think of.

My symptoms:
Been very gassy. Strange feeling in abdomen. It's not really cramps, kind of like a pressure. I'm very aware of my uterus. There isn't enough water in the world to drink. I get SO thirsty. I go from being not so into food to starving like I haven't eaten in a week. There's no, 'I think I may be hungry' it's 'oh my god I have to eat right now or I'll die' hunger. Tired. Waves of nausea. But it's not flu like nausea, just a weird 'I feel like I might get sick' feeling. Hot flashes. My face gets really red and my ears will feel like they are on fire. I also get really cold. My body feels like it's 'buzzing' or 'working' it's hard to explain. I feel like I'm getting a cold. And then there are the trips to the bathroom. I had no idea the human body could produce so much pee. I don't think I've ever peed this much in my life. This is amazing.
I'm so blessed to be experiencing this. It's more amazing than I could have ever imagined it could be. I know it's still early, but this baby deserves to be loved.

I feel like I'm living in a dream.

10dp3dt - Same Thing Today

Another line, but darker. Very light brown spotting. Feeling the same as last night.

Had a VERY weird dream about brown spotting. It was disgusting.

All morning I used my friend google to try and figure out what was going on. I decided to check up on my internet cheapie tests. What I found was that they aren't that good for early testing and that a lot of ladies where having the same problems I was. So, I decided to go out and get FRER.

Two lines. TWO lines. The one is faint, but still there and way more visible than those other ones I was trying to read. So, as of right now, I am pregnant.

And I'm going to enjoy every minute of this while I can. :)

Spotting!

OH.MY.GOD!
Just as I was feeing hopeful....
I was getting ready for bed, staring at my pee sticks one last time to see if that line was still there (still was) and hoping to see a line tomorrow morning. I go to the bathroom, wiped and saw brown mixed with cm. So I wiped again, brown. Wiped again, pinkish brown. So now, I'm freaking out. I always spot the couple days before AF. This doesn't really feel like AF, but I don't really know what AF feels like while on estrogen and progesterone. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Please don't let this be AF.

E has no idea any of this is going on. I don't want to freak him out, because he will freak out. I can handle all of this, he can't.

I'm gonna throw up.

9dp3dt - Evening Update

Well, the lines are actually still there. Even on the first one. You can see the line better on the second one I did. If I hold it up to the window, I can see it. It's like that line in a dollar bill. None of the other pee sticks are like that. These are the only two with lines....well, except for the one from from 6dp3dt. The one from 6dp is more like a crease.
I was going to buy some digital hpt's at the grocery store today but I chickened out. I'm not ready to see that 'no' yet. I'd rather obsess about these lines. At least I can still have hope with the line thing.
I was pretty crampy all day. Almost AF crampy. I would probably think AF was about to start. My lower back also hurts, nipples still hurt and I'm bloated like you wouldn't believe.

9dp3dt - Another line

On the second test I took. It's purple, just like the other one. At least I know I'm not seeing things. It's still going to drive me insane.

Been having cramps, no appetite. Actually, I did eat 8 oreo cookies and drink half a glass of milk. But I've been up since 5:30 so....
The cramps are lower in my abdomen and kind of on the right side. Kind of have a crotchal pain. Very bloated.

9dp3dt - There was a line

And it disappeared.

I thought there was a line this morning when I took it, but was so tired I couldn't really tell. Just figured it was another bfn. When I looked at it later, there was a very very very faint line. It had a very light purple color. I thought I was going crazy. Kept looking at it, looking at it. Took it to different rooms to look at it in different light. There was definitely a line there and it wasn't white. It was as wide as the control line and it was light purple. Now it's gone. I took pictures of it but you can't really see it. You can however see it if I invert the colors.

Now, as I have been obsessively peeing on sticks, I've been taking pictures and inverting them to see if there is a line. None of the others have had any sort of line like this. Hmmm.

I was so happy. :(

Took another test a few minutes ago thinking for some strange miracle there would be another line. Nothing. :(

8dp3dt - Evening

Well, I tested again when I got home. Stark white.

I want to go to sleep to see what tomorrow will bring.
I don't want to go to sleep to see what tomorrow will bring.

Please let there be some sort of line on that thing. Please.

No symptoms all day. I did feel slightly nauseous after eating my lunch this afternonn, but nothing too bad.

Got Burger King for dinner. BAD idea.

Boobs started getting sore around 6/7.

This is so hard

I want to go back to the beginning. Back to ER. Back to ET. Back to when there was still so much hope. I want all my hope back. Why is this happening to me? Why do I have to go through this. I don't want to talk to anyone, don't want to see anyone. I don't want to think. Just want to sleep and not deal with it.

8dp3dt - :(

Tested again. Nothing.
I was positive there was going to be a line. Nothing.

I'm really down today. Trying to keep my head up and telling myself that there is still time. All night I dreamt about getting a bfp. I also had some really bad dreams about Dh. When I fell asleep after he left for work, I had another one. They aren't helping my mood.

Now I see that someone who had the same cycle as I did, got a bfp. This isn't fair.

Have to go to work today. Don't really want to go. Just want to stay home and be sad.

Here's the picture from this morning. Sometimes it looks like there is a line where the arrow is. I think I'm just wishful thinking.

7dp3dt - No line

Although if I look at it in a certain way, I can see something. I could just be the line that is there already. But the line doesn't look like any of the other lines from before....so.....I don't know.

Okay day today. Went back to work for a while. It was nice to get out of the house and get back into the swing of things. I only worked for 3 hours and my ovaries ache. I guess it's from the increased activity.

Still going back and forth. :(

Found a baby bird this afternoon. When I came home from work, it was still out there and one of the dogs started playing with it. When I got back from my meeting, I went out there to find it to see if it was still alive. It wasn't looking so good. I grabbed a flower pot off the deck and scooped it in there. I saw on the internet that you can make a nest and stick it back in the tree and the mother will find it and feed it. While I was looking for a spot, I kept hearing a bird screech. I kept looking in the tree and couldn't find anything. Then I looked down and saw another baby bird! The poor thing was screaming at me wanting me to feed it. I felt so bad. So, I scooped it into the flower pot with it's sibling. Went in to get a towel and stuffed that in there to keep it warm. I couldn't figure out how to get the flower pot into the tree and was worried the momma bird wouldn't be able to get in or out. So, I made a nest out of a square ziploc container and some tissue paper. It's sitting in the tree. The whole time the baby bird screeched at me. When I left it, it went back to sleep. At first I wasn't going to put the other one in with it because I don't think it's going to make it. I decided it could at least have some comfort with it's sibling than by itself in a flower pot. Who knows, maybe momma bird will feed it and make it better. When I took the weaker one back, the other one popped it's head up and started screeching again. It reminded me of the story of the baby duck thinking the first thing it sees is it's momma. Now this bird thinks I'm it's momma. I fee so bad for it. I did all I can do I guess. :(

Ovaries ache.

6dp3dt - Evening

Cramps are still there. Felt some weird throbbing earlier. Feeling nauseous. Mouth watering. Very tired. Feeling warm and face is flushed. Extremely bloated. Have a 'weird' feeling on the left side of my uterus.
My face got really red last night too, like I had a rash. All of these are also side effects of the progesterone.

Dh told me he teared up listening to a song on the radio. It was about having a child.

Please God, let this work. Don't make me have to tell him this didn't work again. :(
Please let there be a line on that pee stick tomorrow morning.

6dp3dt - What Have I Done?

I tested this morning. I've been testing every now and then just for the heck of it. There's a second line. It's very faint. I could be an evap. line. Could be a false positive. Whatever it is, it's driving me insane. I tested again in the afternoon, knowing full well that it was going to be negative. I've been googling 6dp3dt faint positives all day. It is possible. I'll see what happens tomorrow morning.

I watched 'Rachel Getting Married' today. What the hell is this crap? Who lives like that? Who has wedding like that? Really? REALLY? So the movie wasn't my thing, but for some reason it made me cry. Screw that!

Going back to work tomorrow. Not to excited about that. It's only for 3.5 hours though. Then I have a meeting afterwards. I'm sure everyone is going to ask what's going on. They think I'm on vacation. For two weeks. I'm sure some of have figured out what is going on because of the last time. I don't know. Whatever.

Been having weird cramps today. Every once in a while I'll get this weird cramp in one spot. It's not an all over cramp. Very lazy today. Not in a great mood either.

5dp3dt

Woke up this morning feeling really good again. Cramps are pretty much gone. I do have a 'weird' feeling in my lower back and in my abdominal area. Don't know what to describe it as. Not really cramps, just an awareness...if that makes sense.
Left the house today to run a few errands and stopped by work. It was nice to see everyone and to see the kids. They looked happy to see me. :) I realized while driving the seat belt and the waistband on my pants still somewhat bothers me. Don't know. Don't know.
I've been going back and forth. Been googling like a crazy woman again. I don't know what's going on in there.
I can feel the dull achy cramps right now. Ugh. What is this? I have so many more days to go. This is going to kill me.
I'm going back to work for a few hours thursday and friday. I tried to tell them that I could work longer but they really want me to take it easy. I actually feel really good and would like to work more but, I might as well enjoy it while I can, right?

4dp3dt

Felt really good this morning. Did some laundry, felt pretty good. Around lunch time the cramps came back. I'm not sure what that means. It could just be from the progesterone or it could be something else. They got worse as the day went on. My boobs were sore and I was also bloated again. It was almost like AF was on her way.
Needless to say, once the cramps started, I stuck to the couch the rest of the day.

We Have Two Frosties!!

The embryologist called me this morning! I thought they were going to call Saturday, but they didn't. I just figured if they didn't call, they didn't make it. He said the other 2 tried to make it, but pooped out. Not his words. So that's really good that 2 almost made it and 2 made it to blast and were able to freeze. It made me feel better about the two they transferred. If their siblings made it that far, they may as well still be going!

3dp3dt - Mothers Day

Today is Mother's Day. Feeling better but still rather crampy and tired. Just want to stay in bed. My mom and I usually go get flowers for the yard and then go out for lunch. When I called her to see what she wanted to do, she said she didn't want to do anything. She wanted me to stay home and rest. So, that's what I did. We took the rental car back, then came home and got back in bed.

The fun part of my day was finally opening my angel package! I had been staring at it since Wed. or Thurs. The girls on the message board did a secret angel exchange and decided to open them on Mother's Day. It was really sweet. I got the courage angel. I'll post a picture when I get around to taking one.

2dp3dt

That's 2 days past 3 day transfer. It feels like it's been longer than that. I'm going to go crazy waiting. I hate this part. There isn't anything I can do but wait. It's out of my hands completely. At least before I was doing the shots, then the ER and ET. Now, just wait.
All I can do is take the estrace and progesterone. Blech. Makes me so crampy, dizzy and nautious. The estrace is greenish blue and well, it along with the progesterone leaks. So, every time I go to the bathroom, I feel like I'm turning into the hulk. :)

Got my haircut today. It was nice to get out of the house but all I wanted to do was come back home and rest. Not sure how I'm going to make it through Mother's Day like this.

Today, my embryos are becoming blastocysts. Blastocysts contain everything to form a human being. Tomorrow or monday they should be breaking out of their shells and implanting into the uterine lining. In my mind, both are doing this. :)

Oh yeah. A nice side effect of the estrace is muscle twitches. Every once in a while my left arm will start twitching A LOT. Then of course my eye starts twitching as well. Wonder how long this will last? Hopefully it won't take over my entire body.

ET Yesterday

ET was yesterday. Everything went well. We got down there about a half hour early because E was taking forever to get ready on Monday and I didn't want to be late.

There were a lot of other women sitting around with their water bottles waiting for their ET. I almost wanted to have a 'Cheers!' moment with the water bottles. :)

I was much more relaxed this time around. The embryologist brought in a picture of our embies. Two 8 cell grade 3 embies (4 best, 1 worst). She said they did assisted hatching to help with implantation. The other four were still going, we should get a call Sat. if any of them made it to freeze. I'm keep my fingers crossed we have a couple.

The ET was pretty painful. Apparently my uterus was high and they could not get to it. He had to try 3 different sizes of speculums to get in there. Ended up with a 'larger' one. It hurt so bad! E was rubbing my arm and a nurse was rubbing my leg telling me it was almost over. The pain from the speculum actually made me cry. Then of course I couldn't stop. No bawling this time though. It was amazing to watch the catheter drop the embies off at 'home'. Afterwards, I just layed there and relaxed while the nurses tried to get the printer to print out a picture of my uterus with the embies. The picture is terrible. Kinda bummed about it. You can't even see them. :(

E took great care of me last night. Missed him today. :(

I'm still uncomfortable. It is getting better though. It doesn't hurt right away when I stand up. Still can't stand up straight and I feel like I want to cradle the bottom part of my stomach. Still mega-bloated. My lower back also hurts.

Bored. Time goes by so slow in the mornings! It was 9:30 and it felt like 11. I hate daytime tv and there are no movies to watch. Nothing left to look at on the internet. B.O.R.I.N.G! Been taking some long naps though. So that's nice. Takes up a big chunk of time. Slowly starting to feel normal again. :)

The progesterone and/or estrace is making me nautious. Yuck.

I'm so bored!

This being in between sore and okay is annoying. I still can't move well because my ovaries are still swollen (not as big as they were) and sore. If I do too much, I can really start to feel it. Don't want to overdo it. I have nothing left to look at on the internet. It's so nice outside, I'd like to take the dogs for a walk but I can't. :(
My stomach is beyond bloated. It wasn't so bad this morning when I woke up, I could actually suck in. Not anymore. The more into the day and the more I eat, the more bloated I get. I'll be starting the Estrace and Prometrium in about an hour. I'll take one dose tonight and a dose tomorrow morning and Thursday morning. After that, it's twice a day. Then I'll be permabloated and dizzy. The prometrium makes you feel pg.
I'll start testing out the trigger on Thursday, to get an idea of where it's at.

ET is 9:30 Thursday morning. Have to be there by 8:30. Take valium when I get into the parking lot and drink tons of water.

I'm sure I'll post more on my boredom tomorrow. I'm sure I'll end up watching either 'Yes Man' or 'Beverly Hills Chihuahua' maybe both.

I wanted to add that I've been able to manage the pain with tylenol. I took some this am and haven't taken any since. Much better than last time.

Fert Report In

6 of the 9 fertilized. All ICSI. Going back down thurs. for transfer.
This is a great fert rate I might add. :)

Waiting for the fert report

Will they call already? Geez.

ER

Egg retrieval was today. Had to get up at 4:45 am. So tired! Everything went well. The nurse found a vein right away for the IV. I wished her luck on finding a vein. I also mentioned how last time they had so much trouble and it was extremely painful. She tried my left hand first and found nothing. She switched to my right side and found it right away. I barely felt it.
Went back around 9:15. I woke up right away while I was still on the table. I remember getting on the bed and being wheeled back to my room. Eric was still upstairs doing his thang. The whole procedure lasted about 20 minutes. Had some water and crackers. Thank god. I was so thirsty from not being able to drink anything.
They got 9 eggs. There would have been more but the follies were in a weird spot and the Dr. didn't want to risk anything trying to get to them. I'm very happy and thankful for 9. :)
Overall, the experience was much better than last time. I wasn't as sore afterwards. I did take a darvocet on the way home followed by another when I got home. I slept for about 4 hours then took some tylenol.
Now we just wait for the fert report.

*Last time they got 7 eggs, 5 were mature and only 3 fertilized.

ER is tomorrow!

I can't believe we are actually here. It almost doesn't seem real. Excited to see what happens. I'm in such a better place than I was last time. It's very hard to explain. I guess I feel at peace.

I'm exhausted. My back aches, my ovaries ache and I'm bloated beyond belief. I can't bend over to pick things up (I have to do this old lady like squat). I also can't sit up, I must recline a bit. I tried to sit on the couch to fold towels and had to lean back.

No food or water after midnight. We'll be leaving at 5:30 am to be there at 8:15.

Stim Day 10 - Triggering Tonight!

It is confirmed, I will be triggering tonight at 9:30 p.m. ER will be at 9:30 Monday morning.



Went to my last appt. this morning. The nurse in the lab couldn't find a vein. She stuck me once and couldn't find anything. She was very nice and tried her best to find something before sticking me. I told her about the lady digging that needle around in my hand. I think I'm going to tell that story for the rest of my life. The nurse couldn't believe that happened. She said she would never dig around in there with a needle because it's such a 'thin' area.



I saw that girl again. I was wondering if I was going to bump into her. She was sitting in the waiting room in the lab and then came into the Dr. office afterwards. I thought about saying something but chickened out.



The nurse I had today was amazing. We were going over the med schedule post-ER and I started crying. She got me some tissues and told me it was okay and that she understood. She told me how she had been in my spot, having had been through two IVF's. One failed and one FET. She said everything I needed to hear. I'm so grateful that I got to meet her today. I think I'll send her a card. She has no idea how much she helped me today.



It's a very emotional time right now. This is it. All that time we waited, gave us something to look forward too. Now it's here. All that time waiting for the next time and it's almost over.



Like the nurse said, I have to let it all go. It's not in my hands. There's nothing more I can do. That's easier said than done..... The meditations I've been doing are helping let it go. I'm so glad I started doing those.



Anyway...

I wasn't going to have a follie scan, but the nurse decided she wanted to see what was going on in there because my E2 levels weren't matching up with the number of follies the nurse here in town had measured. My E2 went from 770 on Wed. to 1730 on Friday. She still had 8 follies.

Once we got the vag-cam going, it was clear that there were more follies. The other lady just didn't seem to 'see' them all. I ended up with 12 on the right side and 4 on the left. The cyst is still there but I have a couple follies there now. Good size follies. She said everything looks good, she saw good things going on. Made my day. :)

The meds situation. They gave me some free meds out of their 'stash'. I went back into the conference room and gave myself my last stim shot. Very interesting experience. No ice either.

Oh yeah, they are trying for a 5 day transfer. This would be a very good thing!



Better go get my hcg out of the fridge.

Stim Day - Exhausted

I'm so tired.

Had my 2nd follie scan this morning. The follies grew, the cysts are about the same size (that's good). Lining is getting thick. She didn't tell me what my E2 levels were. I'll be triggering tomorrow and ER will be on Monday, ET will be on Thursday.



Going to go to sleep now.

Now that I got some rest....
Called the nurse first thing in the morning and told her about my med dilemma. She said that I could either have them shipped overnight or get a px and have it filled. I decided that I would get a px for Sat. dose and have the rest (Sun and Mon dose) shipped.

While I was waiting at the Dr. office I was wondering if I would see the girl from Wed. At the last appt. I had to sit in a room and wait while the ultrasound tech finished up with another patient. I wondered if she was a PAR patient w/Dr. Jarrett. While I was sitting there, I overheard the nurses talking about a PAR patient and how her follies were hurting her. When she came out, it was the girl I saw on Wed. It was nice to see someone in town that was going through the same thing. I tried to think of something to say but couldn't come up with anything.

Get to the ultrasound room, tech does the scan. Follies on the right side are bigger, she says I still have 8. It looked like more than 8 to me, but what do I know, I'm not the pro. The cyst on the left is about the same size. I also have 2 small follies over there. Good news. Good news. Everything is good to go. I was a little bummed that I only had 8 mature follies. They increased my FSH and I ended up with less. What the hell is up with that?

I have noticed that last time, I had lots of follies but they were all different sizes. This time, they are all close in size. I guess that's good? I don't know.

Off to the lab for blood work.
When I walked in, this lady said, 'You're not here to be checked for the flu are you?' Ummm, no. Then I went and sat in the corner by myself away from everyone. Ha ha ha.
I was wondering who would draw my blood. I told myself that I wasn't going back to that same place to avoid Nikia, but I went out of convenience. It was a surprise when Olga walked in! She looked at me and said, 'Haven't I just seen you?" It was funny. She found my vein right away. It was nice. She saw what Nikia did to me the other day. Didn't like it.

Went to work the late shift at work. That was horrible. I was so tired. I could have layed down on the floor and taken a nap. I don't even know how I made it to 6. I was falling asleep at 7. Finally gave up and went to bed before 10!

I'm getting very scatterbrained. There is so much going on these past few days!

*PAR is the program that my RE has set up with my Dr. office here. They monitor me up here and fax the results to him. This way I won't have to drive down to Indy so many times.